Thursday, July 17, 2014

The Naked Straw...

...sounds like a good name for a Diner, or a Movie...Strip Club...anyway, LET'S MULTITASK!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PB-OKYBmCk

The Naked Straw is about the most disgusting thing in a Restaurant or Coffee Shop.

Straws that don't have a protective sheath over them are open to some of the most disgusting elements you can think of in the Food and Beverage Industry.

Baristas Plop a straw into your drink for you when you get your coffee and they just handled every element in their environment, while making your coffee ;-)

They grab the Handle, they grab the used shot glasses, they grab the grubby towel, they clean the grubby counters and GOD knows what else...they grab :-O then...they Plop that Naked Straw, right into your drink ;-)

Plus, sometimes these straws are out in the open where any Jane or John can just rummage their dirty little burger/butt fingers through, before they get a straw.

BLECK!!!

Kevin Hart said it best in his standup, "Let Me Explain" about Dirty Bum Hands touching you, the Bum Bump...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_rYKjBj9kM

Now with the Bum Bump in mind try to hold onto your lunch when we remind you of those G-String Wearing Baristas serving you coffee.

For you voyeuristic coffee drinkers out there you should realize that the G-String wearing baristas are constantly adjusting their G-String.

Running their fingers through the cloth to straighten them out and adjusting the front and back of their crotch area to make sure they aren't floating up.

Fixing their makeup, adding lipstick, touching their eyes and their lips and their crotch over and over again.

Women constantly touch their face and their hair (and their crotch) over and over again, because they are vain and insecure about the way they look.

Then you pull up to order your coffee and they say, HERE YOU GO, PLOP, goes the straw into your drink, yuuummm :-P

...really honey, I don't know where the Herpes Came from, I just got a Coffee and went to work...I Promise...

The Bum Bump evolved...The Barista Bump :-D

The straw is by far one of the nastiest things in a restaurant, besides of course,  the Old Coffee Pot and the Ice Box.

sidenote: ...and the maraschino cherries :-&...and really any item in that little ramekin tub :-P

PUT A RUBBER ON THAT NAKED STRAW!!! GRRRROSSS :-&...

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